https://www.recoveringhopecounseling.com/journal daily 0.75 2024-08-12 https://www.recoveringhopecounseling.com/journal/riding-an-old-bike-in-a-new-way monthly 0.5 2024-08-12 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66a59785ccacb328f9a108ea/882762f0-93e9-4247-8f90-dec6dd05a57b/riding%2Ba%2Bbike.png Journal - Riding an Old Bike in A New Way - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66a59785ccacb328f9a108ea/44137dd8-ac9b-485f-9d38-7a973cd17535/bike%2Bin%2Bnature.jpg Journal - Riding an Old Bike in A New Way - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://www.recoveringhopecounseling.com/journal/sex-addiction-101 monthly 0.5 2024-08-12 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66a59785ccacb328f9a108ea/24ee1e82-42a9-4386-b29a-755d47657653/Screenshot+2024-08-07+at+10.45.21%E2%80%AFAM.png Journal - Sex Addiction 101 - Make it stand out 1. Loss of Control: Engaging in clear behaviors more frequently that you intend or want. The old substance use adage, “One is never enough, and a thousand is never too many” applies here. The addict has lost the ability to stop their behavior. 2. Compulsive Behavior: Over time, a pattern of out-of-control behavior emerges. The addicted person has a set of behaviors that taken together, provide a sense of relief (albeit temporary) for the addict. Once the uncomfortable emotional state returns, the addict automatically returns to the addictive behavior for relief. 3. Efforts to Stop: Repeated failed attempts to reduce, control, or stop the behavior. Even the best of intentions, serious negative consequences, or even a renewed commitment to their spiritual life cannot keep the addict from returning to the addictive behavior. Relapse often occurs, and failure to understand that it is often part of the healing process of recovery can serve to only deepen feelings of guilt and shame, keeping the addict stuck in their addiction. 4. Loss of Time: Significant amounts of time lost due to preparing to/engaging in and/or recovering from the behavior. This is one symptom that demonstrates how the brain has become altered or damaged by the addiction process. It is an example of diminished intellectual functioning. The addict suddenly becomes like a racehorse with blinders on. They lose complete track of time, often becomes unaware of their surroundings or what they were doing. The only thing they can see is how they can get a fix. 5. Preoccupation: Obsessing about or because of the behavior. This is the “Marination Stage”. The addict may have a seemingly random thought like, “I made a sale today. Let’s go celebrate at the strip club”, or, “I have a few minutes of downtime before anyone gets home. Let’s see what or who’s online?”. Often those thoughts can be diverted and will pass through a person’s consciousness with little or no effect. For the addict, if they don’t dismiss the thought immediately, they begin to “marinate” or obsess on the thought, which creates a physical change in their body chemistry, creating a strong urge or craving, which in turn puts them into a state of diminished intellectually functioning. The blinders come on, and they are off to the races. 6. Inability to Fulfill Obligations: The behavior interferes with work, school, family, and other social relationships. As the addiction grows and takes root, the addictive thinking is constantly operating in the addict’s mind (often below the conscious level). They are easily diverted and unable to give their full attention or best efforts at home, work, or in important relationships. 7. Continuation Despite Consequences: Failure to stop the behavior even though you have experiences serious negative consequences because of it (social, legal, financial, physical, and spiritual). Just as an alcoholic will continue drinking after several DWI’s the sex addict will continue to act out even though they may be on the verge of losing their family, job, or even going to jail. They are no longer in control. The addictive behavior is now calling the shots. 8. Escalation: Need to make behavior more intense, riskier, and more frequent. With substance users, tolerance is when they need to use greater and greater amounts of their drug to get the same effect. With sex addicts, tolerance is classified by the increasing severity and type of behavior the addict engages in. It is a downward spiral into more risky behaviors that directly involve and/or violates the boundaries of other people. In his book Out of the Shadows, Patrick Carnes breaks down tolerance into three levels of severity based on the level of victimization that the behavior involves: 9. Losses: Losing, limiting, or sacrificing valued parts of life such as hobbies, family, relationships and work. As the addiction escalates and become more entrenched, the person’s life becomes smaller without them realizing. Unintentionally, the addict’s behavior causes them to lose important relationships that once filled their life. Ironically it is the loss of these connections to the real world that could have helped the addict see that they were on shaky ground. Now that important relationships are no longer important or are totally absent, the addictive behavior rushes in to fill the vacuum. The addict comes to think of their behavior as the only trusted friend they have. This complete nonsense of course, but the addicts brain has become so altered that they cannot see the reality of the situation. Denial is the addiction’s most powerful weapon against reality, and the addict, now isolated from their support system, is virtually incapable of breaking free on their own. 10. Withdrawal: Stopping behavior causes considerable distress, anxiety, restlessness, irritability and physical discomfort. While withdrawal from alcohol and drugs like Xanax and Klonopin can be life-threatening, withdrawal from sex addiction involves experiencing uncomfortable levels of anxiety, irritability, and restlessness. Their craving response may seem unbearable, and it may be difficult to control racing thoughts. During withdrawal, the addict my feel like “I’m going to die if I don’t act out or have sex”. Note: In all of recorded history, no man, woman, or other animal species has ever died from being deprived of sex. During withdrawal, denial is especially active because the mind and body have become dependent on the chemical release in the brain that the addictive behavior produces. In short, the brain will say, “I gotta have it”, and provide an excuse like the one mentioned above as justification for acting out again. With substance use, a person who has two to three of the criteria listed on the left meets criteria for what is called a Substance Use Disorder Mild. This used to be classified in the DSM as Substance Abuse, which meant that the person could act, behave, and look like an addict, but if the consequences were severe enough (a DUI, death of a friend due to an overdose, etc.) the person is able to quit their drug habit and not pick up again, or are able to severely limit their use. If a person meets four to five of the criteria on the left, this person meets criteria for Substance Use Disorder Moderate. Anyone who meets six or more of the criteria has a Substance Use Disorder Severe. Both a moderate and serve diagnosis were formerly classified as Substance Dependence. At this stage, the person has lost the ability to stop their addictive. They may make multiple attempts, or have several DUI’s, lost jobs or marriages, but continue in their addictive behavior. It is important thing to remember that the same concept applies to behavioral addiction like sex and gambling; the disease of addiction is progressive. There comes a point where the person loses the ability to not only stand by their choice to quit, but to actually quit the behavior itself. Unlike a substance use disorder, there are no varying degrees of sex addiction. If a person meets six or more of the criteria on the right side of the diagram above, they meet criteria for sex addiction. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66a59785ccacb328f9a108ea/6b5d115e-0cb3-4014-8ff9-9b8c6ec8d75a/individual%2Bsex%2Baddiction.png Journal - Sex Addiction 101 - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66a59785ccacb328f9a108ea/17bda8ad-99fa-4fb0-8060-73507199ba78/Screenshot+2024-08-07+at+10.51.05%E2%80%AFAM.png Journal - Sex Addiction 101 - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://www.recoveringhopecounseling.com/journal/acceptance-and-willingness monthly 0.5 2024-08-12 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/66a59785ccacb328f9a108ea/3758c750-7cbe-4753-8e28-4c072be97dce/BlogPost%2BAugust17.png Journal - Is What I’m Doing Working for Me? 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